How to Win Friends and Influence People
Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
"Do this and you will be welcome anywhere."
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
"Ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering."
The first step to make friends is for you to become more interested in them than for them to become interested in you. If you seem as though you are interested in other people people will welcome you more. It is easier for you to get to know someone than for them to get to know you. Ask questions that would seem like they have no trouble asking.
"One of the best investments you can make is to take a genuine interest in other people." -Melchor Lim
Rule 2: Smile
"Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you."
"You dont feel like something. Then force yourself to smile."
"It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends."
The second step to making better friends is to always smile. Smiling makes it seem as though your are always a positive person. Smiling helps your reputation. You smiling can also place smiles on other peoples faces. Smiling can tell your boss that you are ready to bring a positive attitude to the company. Smile not only for yourself but for others. When you have nothing to say you can also smile. Smile even if you dislike whatever it is that is in front of you. When you are playing that is competitive and you come out as the loser dont frown instead smile.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss
Rule 3:Remember Names
" A man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
"If you don't remember names, you are headed for trouble."
The third step to making people like you is remember peoples names. Remembering peoples names is saying that you were actually paying attention to that person. Remembering peoples names can help you better the relationship that you may have with that person. The names of people are very important to them which is why it is a good reason to remember them. The name of a person can tell you much about them.
"If I'm gonna tell a real story, I'm gonna start with my
name."
-Kendrick Lamar
How to Remember Names:
Repeat Names, associate names, Spell it out, word play, record their names, use repetition.
Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
"If you aspire to be good conversationalist, be an attentive listener."
"Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interesting in himself and his wants and his problems than he is in you and your problems."
The fourth step to making people like you is to listen to what the have to say. To get to know someone better you have to show them that you want them to open up to you. Don't talk about the problems that you have because many people do not care about your problems instead listen to what they are going through. Make the other person feel as though they are more important .
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a
while, he knows something."
-Wilson Mizner
5 steps for active listening
1) Stay focused, keep natural eye contact, and be patients.
2)Really listen, dont think about similar experiences and think about what to say next.
3)Allow periods of silence, what until the other person speaks again.
4)From time to time repeat what the other person had just said or paraphrase them.
5)Understand the emotion behind their words, when you paraphrase also try to express the emotion behind their words.
Rule 5:Talk in terms of the other man's interest.
"The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.
This is the fifth step on how to win people and influence them. Talk about things that the other person is most interested in. Talk about what they treasure the most. Don't talk about your personal interests and instead talk about what their personal interests are. For example if the person really loves football but you like baseball instead, don't talk about baseball with them instead talk about football, the person will have a much better time if you do.
The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine
interest in all the details of daily life.
William Morris
Rule 6:Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
"The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature."(John Dewey)"Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic."
The sixth and final step to making people like you is to make the other person feel important. Every person wants to feel important. People like to feel like someone has their back in case they need help or support. When you try to make someone feel important you do it sincerely, don't try to fake it, it only looks worse.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a
kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of
caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Leo Buscaglia
Reflection: Write an overall final reflection in this post regarding the "Six Ways to Make People Like You" Include your deepest thoughts and feelings. Write what you commit to do to apply the six rules.
The "Six Ways to Make People Like You" are truly important rules to follow by. They will only help meet new people but they can improve the relationship with people you already know. I will try to use these rules in my everyday life to help me improve the relationships I have with other people.
I strongly agree with what this is trying to say. People already have problems of their own so there is no reason why to get other people involved with your problems. Also do not talk bad about things because that could also lead to the person thinking that you say bad thing about them. Do not make people feel awkward in public when you are expressing your hate for the thing that you do not like. A good way to follow this rule would to always be thinking positive in front of someone. Never talk bad about things or things that you hate because people could care less. Always trying to comfort someone instead of trying to make someone comfort you.
Being honest and sincere to a person is a good way to make friends easily. People like others to be honest and sincere when talking to them. A honest opinion is always better than a fake one. You should only say something if you mean it. Lying and
faking your appreciation is no good
If you want to maintain a person happy and pleased, you must
arouse an eager want in them. That means that you should pay attention to them
and show them that at that time, they are your main focus. By doing so, the
person will feel pleased and happy that you are such an attentive listener. But
in order to do this you must remain cool, calm, and positive.
